Huge Congratulations To Tracey Emin Who Has Married A Rock

The couple met and married in France

We all need a rock in life. But why go for one in the metaphorical sense, when an actual rock can do the job?

Tracey Emin has revealed that she has married a rock. She met the rock in her garden in France, which was convenient, and describes him/her/it as ‘very beautiful’. Sounds dreamy. 

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The wedding was a private affair that took place last summer in the garden where they met. The bride wore her father’s white funeral shroud. 

As in many relationships, sometimes the 52-year-old artist is poetic about her partner, calling it an ‘anchor I can identify with’, and saying, ‘It means I am not alone. Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere.’

And at other times she just tells it like it is: ‘The whole thing with the stone is – it’s a big f***ing stone, right. It’s in my garden, it’s very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot.'

‘The other thing about the stone is that it could be quite monstrous and scary. Instead I saw it as a protection thing as opposed to a fearful thing.'

‘The other thing with the stone is it’s not going anywhere. Even if there’s the biggest f***ing tsunami in the whole f***ing world, the stone will probably still stay there.’

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And that’s all part of the beauty of love we suppose, the complexity of it. Sometimes your partner is something you connect with on a more spiritual level, and at the same time they can just be someone who you find very nice and impressive.

Although the tsunami point is someone / something a human spouse just can’t compete with, which is definitely a pull factor when it comes considering embarking on a union with a rock. 

Plus we imagine a divorce would be pretty straightforward. 

Congratulations Tracey and The Rock (not to be confused with the wrestler-turned-actor, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson).