8 Things We Learnt From Magic Mike XXL

Channing Tatum + Thong = Cinematic Genius

Magic Mike is back! Rather than hiding his stripper past in a deep, dark closet, Channing Tatum has once again donned the stage (and the tiny pants) in a film inspired by his own experiences of being a male entertainer and we can only be more than thankful. Here are 8 things we learnt from watching Tatum and Co. gyrate for 115 minutes: 

1.They’re not strippers, they’re male entertainers

Forget the old job description of ‘stripper’ and welcome in the term male entertainer. These boys are definitely male and very definitely entertaining, so what’s to argue? 

2.Cheetos and water are super sexy 

Lamenting a dry spot, Joe Manganiello’s character Big Dick Richie (we didn’t make up the name, promise) takes it upon himself to entertain one lucky lady. Cue hilarious dance with to-hand props. 

3.Andie MacDowell can make for a very convincing horny mother 

Andie MacDowell brings back her southern accent for her role as a horny mother in Magic Mike XXL. When can we have her round for dinner? 

4.Amber Heard is all kinds of beautiful 

Okay, okay, we definitely knew this one already but seriously, this girl is stunning. We were almost more captivated by her then anything else…but then we spied Joe Manganiello’s biceps. 

5.First of all, male entertainer conventions are a real thing, guys 

Hen dos will never be the same again. 

6.Secondly, If you’re going to go to one, you need an endless supply of dollar bills 

The amount of money these men were bestowed while dancing was mind-blowing. If you’re going to go to a male entertainer convention, you need to take your years salary out in dollar bills to fit in. 

7.Jada Pinkett Smith is the sass Queen! 

Teach us your ways, oh sassy one! Jada’s character and Channing’s definitely have some chemistry and whats more she definitely holds all he power. We need her on speed-dial for those boyfriend dilemmas of ours. What’s your number Jada? Help a girl out! 

8.Three words: Channing. Tatum. Thong. 

If our boyfriends wore a metallic thong under their suits to work we’d probably start to heavily consider the relationship, however, if Channing were to turn up (boys in tow) sporting one we’d be smitten. Double standards? Maybe.

Magic Mike XXL is out nationwide this Friday.