What it feels like... to be a Dominatrix (plus the wildest things clients pay to do)

Including pain, poo, and covering herself in custard...

Dominatrix: real life stories

Including pain, poo, and covering herself in custard...

You all saw Kim Kardashian's Met Gala outfit last year - you know, the head-to-toe black ensemble, complete with face-covering mask, cape and heeled pointed-toe boots - and Julia Fox's subsequent latex-clad looks, too.

The socialite stunned fans globally by covering the entirety of her body - face and all - just a week after she checked into the Ritz-Carlton hotel in New York clad head-to-toe in black leather.

Many compared Kim's outfits to that of a Dominatrix - others said she looked like she was wearing a gimp mask or bondage hood. Both are commonly used in BDSM role play or by those with rubber fetishes, which got us thinking - what is it actually like to be a Dominatrix in 2021, and what are the wildest things a Dominatrix has been asked to do to a client? Is it all leather and whips or is the reality a little different?

Like our guides to bondage for beginners, Kamasutra sex positions and tantric sex, keep reading to find out what a Dominatrix is, how much a Dominatrix earns, and what the wildest things are that she's been asked to do to a client (including humiliation, farting and foot fetishes).

Here, Chelsea Ferguson, co-founder of AdmireMe VIP, shares her story.

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What is a Dominatrix? 

Yep, you guessed it - most notably, they dominate their sexual partner, taking a leading role in sexual activities like bondage, discipline and sadomasochism (otherwise known as BDSM).

"I'm also the CEO of AdmireMe.VIP, an ethical, social media-based content creator platform that's been made by a sex worker - myself! - for other sex workers ," explains Ferguson. Their primary aim? "To put adult performers first and transform the industry. I also feature on the platform myself and absolutely love working in the adult sector," she shares.

What does it feel like to be a Dominatrix?

Does Ferguson enjoy being a Dominatrix? Yep - as she says, she loves her job. "I adore the sense of empowerment, enjoyment and, of course, money that it brings," she shares. "However, it does also come with an unnecessary and outdated stigma; people think we don't have real jobs and sex workers are surrounded by a really negative stereotype, despite this being the oldest industry in the world," she continues.

How much does a Dominatrix earn?

Good question. A bit like a male escort, there's money in sex work, and Ferguson shares that she owns 'a very comfortable amount.'

"I'm able to live in a six bedroom house with my son - lets just say that," she explains. "I earn enough money to support my family and enjoy the luxuries I'm passionate about, too."

Don't miss our guides to the best sex toys, best sex toys for couples and the hottest sex positions, while you're here.

Dominatrix stories: Man undoing woman's bra

11 wildest things a Dominatrix has been asked to do

Have you ever wondered? Because we have.

Most people will have a sexual fantasy of some kind- whether it's role playing with your partner or having a threesome. A Dominatrix is paid to help assist with some of the wilder fantasies out there.

"When I was stripping, I was asked to kick a man in the testicles and fart into a tub... I didn't do the latter," laughs Ferguson. Keep scrolling to read what else she's asked to do - all in the name of kink.

1. Kicking a client in the balls

"When I was a stripper, one client paid me thousands of pounds to kick him in the balls," she shares. "Yes, kick him in the balls!"

2. Sploshing

Ever heard of it? Us neither. "Sploshing is a surprisingly popular trend - I've received a shocking number of these requests over the years," she shares.

"Simply put, sploshing means incorporating food into your sex life - most commonly, spreading or sploshing it all over yourself. A regular client often asks me to cover myself in custard which is always.. interesting."

3. Humiliation

Everyone's kink is different - and for some, humiliation is actually what turns them on. "So many of my clients love humiliation - you'd be shocked at how common it is," shares Ferguson.

"Take my ex, for example: he was dominant in many ways, but loved being humiliated in the bedroom," she explains. "He had a micropenis and would ask me to put my Louboutin heels in his mouth and tell him how unworthy his penis was of me while he masturbated."

"Things like this are an everyday occurrence - most clients want to be submissive," she goes on.

Dominatrix stories: A bed with messy sheets

4. Farting

Another common request? Farting. "My clients often want me to film myself farting or send them up-close voice notes of me passing wind," she shares.

"Although, while I might sometimes be gassy - that's only normal - sadly it's not something I share for public viewing," she explains.

Looking to spice things up in the bedroom? Why not invest in a vibrator, try pegging, or treat yourself to a sex toy advent calendar. You're so welcome.

5. Foot fetishes

We've brought you an entire guide to how to talk about a fetish, but some of the most common (and wild) things a Dominatrix has been asked to do are in relation to foot fetishes. Sweaty socks, anyone?

"Love Island might have normalised foot fetishes, but they've been around for much, much longer - it's a huge kink," she explains. "Clients ask to receive worn socks, for example. They get off on them even more if they're super sweaty - I often wear them to the gym," she reveals.

6. Poo requests

This one's seriously wild - even Ferguson admits this one isn't a request she'd say yes too.

"Clients have asked me to either poo and rub it on myself, or send them a poo before," she explains. "While some might be into it, I find it off-putting either way - it's definitely not something I'm up for, but some people like it."

7. Findom

Short for financially dominated, findom describes someone being financially dominated.

"If a guy is hugely successful professionally, they often get off on their money being dominated, Ferguson explains.

"One of my clients - one of my favourites! - will ask me to go out for a slap-up meal with friends, for example, which they'll pay for," she shares. "Others like being given pocket money, leaving me in control."

Dominatrix stories: Young woman straddling young man lying on bed

8. Showering with shampoo

Sure, showers are sexy, but some clients have asked Ferguson to shower with specific products that turn them on.

"I regularly get requests for content of me showering," she shares. "However, a surprising number of viewers specifically get off on seeing me shampoo my hair - they don't care how much nudity is involved as long as there's shampoo." Niche.

9. Walking all over them

Literally. "When I was a stripper, I got requests to walk on clients' backs wearing heels," she reveals. "The pain really turned them on - I guess because it's like an extreme massage," she shares.

10. Vomit

The most off-putting request, in Ferguson's eyes.

"There's a kink for almost every bodily fluid, including vomit," she shares. "However, my customers will need to go elsewhere if they want that - I've been asked to do it before, but this is a kink I just can't wrap my head around."

11. Faked injuries

Last but by no means least, another request Ferguson has had includes faking injuries.

"Some clients have requested I make it look like I've been injured in some way - for example wearing a fake sling or cast," she shares. "I reckon these clients like feeling like my saviour or Prince Charming."

Senior Health and Sustainability Editor

Ally Head is Marie Claire UK's Senior Health and Sustainability Editor, nine-time marathoner, and Boston Qualifying runner. Day-to-day, she heads up all strategy for her pillars, working across commissioning, features, and e-commerce, reporting on the latest health updates, writing the must-read wellness content, and rounding up the genuinely sustainable and squat-proof gym leggings worth *adding to basket*. She's won a BSME for her sustainability work, regularly hosts panels and presents for events like the Sustainability Awards, and is a stickler for a strong stat, too, seeing over nine million total impressions on the January 2023 Wellness Issue she oversaw. Follow Ally on Instagram for more or get in touch.