Hen-dos and budget woes - how to navigate tricky money talks

Ah, celebration seasons! Whether it’s a birthday, wedding, anniversary, or Christmas, these moments bring joy, togetherness—and, let’s be real—a bit of financial anxiety. While we all cherish these special events, the pressure to spend can strain our wallets. You’re not alone if the thought of gifts, parties, and endless commitments has you feeling more stressed than festive. But here’s the truth: You don’t have to sacrifice your financial well-being to keep the celebratory spirit alive.

Let’s talk about how to navigate those tricky money conversations with friends and family during any celebration season. Whether you’re a budgeting pro or just trying to keep your head above water, open communication and setting boundaries are the way to go. Here’s how to do it gracefully—and without feeling like the party pooper.

Be honest about your financial boundaries

First things first: honesty is essential. If you’re feeling the financial squeeze, it’s okay to let your loved ones know. You might worry that talking about money will dampen the celebratory spirit, but remember, it’s better to set clear expectations than to overextend yourself and regret it later. A simple, “I’m watching my budget this year, so I’ll be keeping things simple” can go a long way. Most people will appreciate your honesty and may even feel relieved to follow suit.

The key is to approach the conversation with warmth and positivity. Frame it in a way that shows your decision is about making the occasion more meaningful, rather than just cutting costs. For example, “I’m really excited to focus on the experiences and memories we can create together, rather than just the material things.”

Suggest alternative ways to celebrate

Instead of pricey gifts or extravagant outings, suggest alternative ways to celebrate that won’t break the bank. For birthdays or anniversaries, how about a small gathering at home or a DIY gift that shows thought and effort? If it’s a wedding or a hen-do, consider proposing group gifts or shared experiences that don’t require everyone to overspend. For Christmas or other holidays, a Secret Santa exchange with a spending limit or a potluck dinner can keep things festive without the financial strain.

If you have a creative streak, consider giving handmade gifts or offering your time and skills instead. A home-cooked meal, a day of babysitting, or a DIY craft can be more meaningful than something bought in a shop. Plus, it shows that you’ve put thought and effort into your gift, which is often more appreciated than the gift itself.

Normalise the conversation

Money talk doesn’t have to be taboo, especially during the holidays. Normalising these conversations can help break down the stigma and make it easier for everyone involved. Start by sharing your budgeting approach and how you plan to celebrate within your means. This can encourage others around you to open up about their financial situations and foster a more supportive environment.

For example, you might say, “I’ve decided to set a budget for Christmas this year because I’m trying to save more for the future. It’s been a bit challenging, but I’m getting there.” By being open, you invite others to share their experiences and create a space where financial transparency is valued. You never know what conversations you’ll spark just by sharing a small tidbit of information.

Set expectations early

The earlier you start these conversations, the better. Don’t wait until the last minute to let your loved ones know that you’re sticking to a budget. By setting expectations early, you give everyone time to adjust and plan accordingly. This can prevent any awkwardness or disappointment closer to the big day.

You could even make it a group effort. Suggest that everyone agrees on a budget for gifts or activities, so there’s no pressure to spend beyond your means. For instance, “How about we all set a gift limit for the wedding presents this year? That way, we can focus more on celebrating the couple and less on the material stuff.”

Embrace the true spirit of the season

At the end of the day, these special occasions aren’t about the gifts or the fancy dinners; they’re about spending time with the people you love and creating memories that will last long after the event is over. By focusing on what truly matters, you can alleviate some of the financial pressure and enjoy the celebration more fully.

Consider planning low-cost activities that bring everyone together, like a casual movie night, a walk in the park, or a fun game night. These simple pleasures can often be more memorable than anything money can buy.

Final thoughts

Navigating money talks during any celebration season can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to create more meaningful and less stressful celebrations. By being honest, setting boundaries, and focusing on the true spirit of the occasion, you can enjoy moments that are rich in love and connection—without draining your bank account.

Remember, these celebrations are about cherishing the people around you, not how much you spend. So take a deep breath, have those conversations, and embrace a celebration that works for you and your finances. You’ve got this!

Bola Sol is the Author of Your Money Life, published by Merky Books an imprint of Penguin Random House. You can buy it now.