Dear Dolly: Breaking up with a friend is never easy

published 13 September 2018

Dolly spills some truths...

The Strand 12.50

As London fashion week fast approaches the hysteria of many doing practically anything for a golden ticket is in full swing. Because let’s face it there is nothing quite like the feeling of a show. The excitement of seeing the looks for the first time, the lights, the FROW drama and the celebrity spotting is a must for anyone who loves fashion, networking or just wants to feel the vibes of live performance.

With NYFW wetting our whistle we are now into operation LFW and with it approaching faster than hate mail to president Dump, it’s time to get my wardrobe in order and make sure that I’m ready when I am walking around the London Streets.

The buzz of street style in Soho, Covent Garden or anywhere near the fashion show hubs is electric! Where photographers, bloggers and Vloggers flock to taste a slice of the fashion week creativity. People who can’t gain access or even those who can, line the pre show lines to catch all the latest trends laced with personal styling ready to go through those doors, elbows out ready for FROW action.

If you have never been, you’re a fashion virgin. Now that’s a word you didn’t think you’d hear again! The burning question usually is “How do I get in?” I am so not about restrictions, unless we’re talking bondage, but that’s another column!

Hierarchy can be ugly and those who have more money to buy their way in is so last season. So I am here to say you can all be part of a show that is fully inclusive and one where you are getting more than you may expect from a London based show.

LQFS. 21st September 2018 a show like no other will be launching at the V&M (Museum of childhood). A show where you can simply buy an affordable ticket with multiple designers and an evening of fashion, people and entertainment. The London Queer fashion show is a new way of showing fashion.

It’s a get in there quick policy for this one. I will be there! A fully stocked bar of Instagrammable cocktails and a hundred models swayed me! Whether it’s eye candy (yes, you can come alone) cocktail candy or a girls/boys night out make it all about you! You are all invited, included and you are encouraged to come as you are. Express yourself and enjoy fashion in your own way. You may well want to be in the VIP area, Frowin’ it up, or a tiered seat may suit you best, what ever you desire, if you love fashion, want to make new friends or take your existing ones and don’t give a fuck about not being able to get your toe in the door of LFW get yourself to LQFS and enjoy your shot of Fashion week. Because everyone deserves to have their fashion virginity taken in style.

Grab your tickets from londonqueerfashionshow.com

What Would Dolly Pawton Do?

Dear Dolly.....

I don’t expect you to answer this one and I think it’s pretty personal but I am at my wits end with my best friend.

Now I say my best friend but I am starting to wonder. We have been friends since primary school and although we went off to college in different directions we would still be in daily contact and meet up when ever I was back in town. We went into different areas of work but recently have started working for the same company. We were so excited. Being able to have lunch everyday and drinks after work. Not once did I think it would all be too much. But lately I feel like I can’t move. I feel guilty for saying that. But all my friends at work are now more her friends. I now have to include her in everything, in fact I feel like she competes with me for their attention. She has cut her hair exactly like mine. People around the office are calling us twins and she really seems to get getting off on it. The other day she brought up an embarrassing story about me in front of my colleagues. I was shocked and hurt. Why would she do that? I feel like she is changing or using me. Is it just me? She knows me better than anyone and it feels odd.

Thanks Dolly

Anonymous

Dear Everyone!

Darling you are not alone! We have all had that “friend” Now there are levels of imitation that is complete flattery and that feeling of admiration. Then there is the single white female moment when you feel scared to tell her where your driving too, or who you bloody fancy! Because you can’t be sure if she will turn up at a location, unannounced or invited but she will make a beeline for your sex/love interest and let’s face it, that’s not okay!

I think your work environment is a separate space to a social one and your bestie sharing personal stories is a step too far.

Haircuts and copying, well if you feel it’s all too weird tell her! She was a friend before a colleague. I think boundaries need to be set for both of you. You are not ten anymore and sharing crushes and candy is no longer fun. Step off bitch! My interests, my hair, my embarrassing story. She has no right to open up your personal life at work without your permission.

I can see where the lines have been blurred, she is now not only a bestie but legally someone at work. Can you tell her to back off or will she run to work and tell them all?

I think a coffee away from work (yes I know it means seeing her again on a Saturday) but I think for you being honest is the best policy on this one. You love your friend and you should give her the chance to know how her actions are affecting you. If she ignores you, then that would be the time to realise that besties in a playground and besties in adulthood are sometimes simply not the same. Nostalgia can get in the way. We all loved Jelly shoes and stirrup jodhpurs but it doesn’t mean we were right!

Good luck as losing a “friend” is never easy. But as I always say.... it’s better to know the truth than live with a fantasy that’s a lie.

London Love

Dolly Pawton